Space Aliens Never Learn

by Jason Nelson

The raindrops carried them. And if it weren’t for the ground, their ingenious

plan would have probably worked. They were incredibly tiny space aliens

determined to take over the earth. Because of their diminutive size and relative

lack of common sense, which to them isn’t all that common, they planned a

surprise attack by traveling down to earth unnoticed. To avoid radar,

satellite, or airport security detection, they devised space ships that could

travel to the surface cloaked in raindrops. Don’t start getting self-assured,

because at first their terrible, yet somewhat misguided, scheme was working

perfectly. They waited until the clouds became dark and heavy, picked ones

shaped like farm animals, and moved into position inside the seemingly innocent

droplets. As the clouds deposited their water cargo, the aliens soared down,

hidden from our electronic view, ready to destroy us large, yet talk-show

hungry, humans. But as their ships approached the ground, they found they were

trapped in the rain drops, trapped until the rain smashed into the ground,

obliterating their ships. You’re probably sitting there in your lazy-boy

recliner drinking apple cider vinegar by the quart and feeling pretty smug.

Don’t feel safe yet, there are more coming and this time they’re waiting for the

gently falling snow of winter.