Jump on the Band Wagon
by Jason Nelson
I‘m a dork. I think I was born that way. I’ve heard it was a twist in the birth
canal, and the ice tongs that caused it. All my clothes have a slightly odd tint
and smell to them, except for one pair of socks I have, which are, frankly,
pretty darn nice. A doctor once told me, I asked her to repeat it, but of course
she wouldn’t, that there was medication I could take for being a dork. She said
that along with the pills, I’d need two forks of different lengths and genders,
and a box of thumbtacks. She said that contrary to popular misconceptions, the
first and third laws of thermodynamics, and a subscription to Fun with Guns and
Weedeaters magazine, pain, boredom and success are great friends. Well,
sometimes pain and boredom fight, but that’s not important now is it.
