Every Christmas Story Ever Told
Every Christmas Story Ever Told
By Michael Carleton, John Alvarez, and Jim Fitzgerald
Directed by Jim Helsinger
Starring Tim Williams, Mark Lanier, and Paul Kiernan
Orlando Shakespeare Festival, Orlando FL
Marley was dead. Of course he’s dead; everyone from Donald Duck to Frank H has been beating him over the head for decades. So when Ebenezer Scrooge (Williams) sets out to squeeze another season’s blood out of this literary turnip, both the ghosts of Marley (Lainer) and Christmas Present (Kiernan) object and propose and alternate story arc – combine every other story from Luke to Linus into one mind blowing feel good Spectacle-Spectacle of a show. They pull cardboard tube antlers and bubble pack oceans out of nooks and crannies, creating one of those rarest of holiday events – two hours of solid laughs completely unencumbered by guilt or a need to go “awwww…”
There are too many sight gags and copyright-free rewrites to fairly report, but Lainer as “Gustav The Green Nosed Goat” and Tim Williams as the stammering George Bailey may be the two most striking performances. Not that there was any lack of comedy form Mr. Kiernan, he made a wonderful Chuck Barris on the Fruit, Nut and Dating Game, and read most of the dark and gruesome “Christmas Traditions From Around the Globe”. The comedy in this show flows from multiple angles – broad parodies of The Grinch and The Nut Cracker swirl around visuals of a wonderful one man “Macy’s Float Gone Amuck,” razor sharp “locals only” gags and even a Tiger Woods joke. Clearly the writing team of Carleton, et al. and director Helsinger were cutting and pasting into the wee hours to make this the freshest holiday anti-fruitcake they could.
Does Marley rise from the blacksmithy of the underworld and provide redemption to all us Scrooges? I think that was in there somewhere, but was laughing too hard to notice. If you absolutely, positively need to see every Christmas special ever made but can’t afford cable this season, this is your ticket. But close your eyes during the Polar Express joke, not even this crackerjack team of crackpots could make that turkey funny.
For more information on Orlando Shakespeare Theater, visit http://www.orlandoshakes.org
