The Great Society

by Jason Nelson

In the woods, and without hormones, there is a growing concern. It

seems the birds have elected leaders. It only seems that way because the

pamphlets and bird newspaper articles are written in a French Dadaist

style. Biologists are puzzled by this new oddly feathered social structure

and by the pervasiveness of fringe French culture. To thwart the inevitable

aerial attack from hordes of corrupt pigeon and scissor tail fly catcher

officials, the military has devised a plan to destroy France. Although this

is not a direct solution to any future bird bombardments, it is a project

the military has been developing for quite some time. Sure, the French will

try to solicit help from the birds, largely due to their surreal

contributions to aviary democracy. But then birds aren’t really after

humankind. Instead, they’ve plotted to cleansing the world of squirrels.

The birds have been watching those crafty little creatures gathering nuts

into community stockpiles and scurrying around monopolizing trees, and

pledged to rid the world of their godless communist regime.

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